“Do not be lazy if you want to keep love”

Which of us does not dream of a happy relationship in which you can trust a partner one hundred percent, build a joint life and hold hands until the last sigh? The Finnish psychotherapist Heli Vaaronen is convinced: our own laziness is most often on the way to this dream.

It’s not enough to meet a “dream man” or “a lady of the heart” and persuade him or go down the aisle. Wedding in female novels is a happy finale, but in fact it is only the beginning. On day a day we will have to build our ideal relationship. This is a 24/7 work, and it is better not to leave it from it.

Most spouses spend all day away from each other, meeting at home only in the evenings. But instead of saying to each other: “I want to stay in your arms,” they say: “Let me relax and stay alone (one)”. Why is this happening?

When we spend time with ourselves, we do not feel disappointment. At our service – gadgets, computer games, social networks. Technologies penetrate the most intimate spheres of our lives. They, not their beloved spouse, become our lovers: they are always ready and are located at an extended hand.

Relations that cracked cannot compete with these seducers, because alone with a phone or tablet, everyone can be the way he wants. Gadgets do not expect anything from us, do not make any complaints. Do not ask where we were, how much we got, why did we come home so late. We can do nothing and “swim with fat”, but they will still provide us with impressions.

The requests and demands of the spouse against their background turn into a white noise, and the desire to relax and relax becomes more important than the desires of a partner. One fine day, we discover ourselves a bored person who has moved from a partner who begins to look on the side of what he lacks in a relationship – respect and admiration, acceptance. And the relationship … Relations begin to fall apart.

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